Sisters, men are not projects!

The other day I was talking to a dear friend of mine and she mentioned how she wanted to introduce one of her friends (let’s call her Pauline) to a mutual friend of ours (let’s call him Frank) in the hopes that they would possibly get along and form a relationship of some sort. Whilst Frank is a likeable guy I disagreed with her doing such a thing. The thing is Frank likes to party and drink whilst Pauline is a quiet and homely girl; I just felt it would lead to a miserable existence for her – wondering where her man/husband was in the middle of the night and whether he was safe or not etc. My friend did not see things my way though, she continued to say people can change and maybe she can be the catalyst for him becoming a different man.


Whilst I felt it was an irresponsible statement to utter, it is not the first time I have heard such a thing. In fact I have had several conversations with precious @Africanindiaspo sisters in which I have heard them speak of how they can or have changed a man and made him who he is today i.e. from being a bad boy (like P. Diddy). Ironically the majority of  these sisters or those with similar attitudes towards men are typically single as they tend to have broken up with the very men they 'created'. They also never seem to be able to make another man as great as the one they previously fashioned and this begs the question, was it all you? It reminds me of a time when I heard of a guy saying that he made Jay-Z as he taught him all he needed to know in order to be a star, and Jay-Z aptly responded in a song by saying something to the effect of, 'I heard some people saying they made Jay-Z, ok so make another Hov'. Simply put he was saying that if you are responsible for me being who I am then make another person as great as I am and it seems that the people referred to in those lyrics have not been able to respond to that remark/challenge.


I digressed a little but I genuinely do not understand why sisters (or women at large) think that men are projects that only they (as specific individuals) can restore from being shattered to being whole. Men do not think that way about women at all. I am sure you have heard the old saying that says ‘you cannot turn a certain type of woman into a housewife’. Men seem to have such deep respect for this profound hip hop philosophical truth. Brothers understand that you cannot change a human being, that you can get them to make a conscious effort to modify their behaviour when you are pursuing each other yes, but when the debris settles and the dust gets swept off the true colours will come out. Unlike women, men will go for the end product always, never the raw materials when seeking a mate to settle down with. That is why you will see the guy who has had his time in the clubs go to church to look for a 'good girl' that sings in the choir when he is considering marriage. On the contrary sisters will leave the choir brothers in the church and look to find that drunkard (such as Frank) in order to make him a choir boy? Haha that is it, that is exactly what sisters do (or at least want to do) and men, being crafty, typically play along until they get what they want; either marriage or just a thrill and then boom the raw material that looked as though it had been transformed into a sparkly finished product reverts back to being a drunkard. It is the weirdest phenomenon; you men should be ashamed of yourselves for doing that. You opportunists you!

As a simple and unsophisticated man I do not know what super powers sisters think that they have that can change a man’s nature. I do not think that Pauline can change someone like Frank - she should not even try. It is a waste of time as the relationship will only end in the future with years wasted and tears shed. Whilst some may think that Pauline could be successful at manufacturing Frank and that if she is not she will learn from the experience, I am a traditionalist who does not believe in casual dating but rather in courtship and marriage. This is largely due to the fact that knowing my luck I will one day have eight daughters and do not want them to go through the motions of emotional and psychological trauma that comes from casual dating. I do not want any sons I may have to be the cause of the emotional pain of other men's princesses either. Certain experiences cannot be recovered from, such as abuse, breach of trust or contracting HIV. I mean even businesses try to minimise risks as much as possible.


I see life partners like houses - which person in their right mind would buy a dilapidated house on which to carry out renovations when they cannot hire a builder and cannot fix the house themselves when they could just as easily buy a house in great condition that only requires the rooms to be painted different colours? In the first instance you have a house with so many issues that cannot be fixed even if you deplete all of your financial resources to try to do so. In the second instance you have a house that requires minimal work. A responsible individual would invest their time and resources acquiring the second type of house I am sure. I would imagine a similar decision-making framework would be highly appropriate for choosing a mate, life is hard under the best conditions; there is no need to complicate it by pairing yourself with someone who will cause you strain with no end.


My @Africanindiaspo sisters if you really want projects/challenges I encourage you to take up knitting or crocheting and make blankets, scarves, etc. Do not entangle yourselves in difficult relationships and marriages to bad boys when you are in your prime/youth only to find yourselves alone and/with children in your late 30s wondering where all the good men are. Most of them would have moved on and the rest would not be interested in broken/used goods. That's just the way it is, some things will never change, oh yeah.

It is usually said that good guys finish last, that is not true. It is in fact the good girls that deal with bad boys that finish last in the end’ - @Africanindiaspo

 

Is feminism good for the @Africanindiaspo woman?

I write this post with a broken heart as what I am about to write about is no light matter. I wish to alert my @Africanindiaspo sisters and brothers about something we should all be worried about; we are sitting on a ticking time bomb.

 

There is a movement called MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) which is gaining traction in western society, particularly in the USA, although I would venture to say that it reflects the mind-set of the modern man across this globalised world of ours. The ideology of the movement is one of pretty much encouraging men to not bother committing to marriage with the modern western/westernised woman or having children with her as this will only guarantee pain, misery, child support, divorce fees, etc. The movement encourages men to lead independent lives from women instead, lives in which the lack of commitment means that men are not accountable to women for any seemingly ‘selfish’ decisions they make - that is if the men are to be involved in relationships at all. It seems many of the supporters of MGTOW are more than happy to work, enjoy leisurely time with friends or personal entertainment through gaming or social media and go to sleep. The advent of pornography and the rise of promiscuity (exacerbated by social media apps such as Tinder) make for a sustainable way of life for your typical MGTOW. Men can now work as hard as they want, buy whatever toys they like and not have to entertain/romance women and still have sex whenever they wish. This is the result of feminism ladies and gentlemen. Who runs the world? GIRLS? Who wins?

 

Whilst I do not agree with the ideology of MGTOW I fully understand how it is a seemingly ‘fair’ response to feminism, an ideology which at its inception wanted women to have equal voting rights (1^st wave of feminism). As most of us probably know before feminism was, women’s roles were limited to home-making and careers such as nursing and teaching. Women did not have much say in the political arena which was dominated by men who served as patriarchs speaking for their families. The 1^st wave of feminism changed that in the early 20^th century. Then came World War 2; the men went to war, the women went to work in the industries and when the men came back the women were no longer contented to stay at home and be homemakers. Beloved this gave rise to the 2^nd wave of feminism in the mid-20^th century which was spearheaded by Betty Friedan. She was disillusioned with the idea of raising of her own children to the extent of revolting against the institution. I do not have a problem with that but imagine being a child and your mother having the full opportunity to nurture you but resorting to dedicating her life to fighting against being with you. That is basically what the 2^nd wave of feminism was all about, as well as fighting to legalise abortions, remove the shame of promiscuity from women (the gatekeepers of the sex economy), obtain equal pay & opportunities, destroy the nuclear family and remove gender distinctions. Lady Betty is actually on record saying that feminism wanted boys to be sensitive/emotional and comfortable with having long hair. The goal was to create effeminate men if you ask me and kudos to them they have achieved it. Oh yeah there is a 3^rd wave of feminism whose job is to keep doing more damage by making men even more inferior as we have seen in the media. Men are depicted as idiots and childlike, can you imagine that? The gender that virtually created all the technology we enjoy and built all the infrastructure we benefit from has suddenly become weaker daft punks (I’ll wait for you to get that).

 

 

Sadly men don’t seem to care and have just shrunk back. Their apathy does, of course, have serious ramifications (as I have mentioned above) – there is very little procreation going on and this will most likely get worse. The thing is men do not have a maternal instinct so they can live with that and can change their minds at any point if they wish and have children even in their 70s. Whilst women in their early 20s might share the same sentiment as men, they do have a restrictive biological clock. Women in their late 30s or early 40s today are finding themselves accomplished, wealthy, alone with a desire to have children and no man ‘foolish’ enough to entertain such thoughts. This may be an interesting video to validate this point (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-aJzW3Q_D8).

 

I wish this was the only consequence - that feminists would learn how isolating their lives are made by the deceptive social terrorist called feminism. Unfortunately the consequences are far worse than that, as I said at the beginning we are sitting on a ticking time bomb. The West and even the East are already suffering from the burden of the ageing population i.e. there are more people in retirement than there are in the marketplace. This means that it has become extremely difficult for governments to take care of the aged based on past fertility rates which have now gotten worse. What will it be like when the 30 year olds of today reach retirement if things worsen/remain as they are? Public services (i.e. health care, police, etc.) will be overburdened and unable to cope with the amount of people dependent upon them. Economies will come to full stand-stills; any pensions the current generation is saving for will not be receivable in a future with poor economic productivity. This is no joke, check out what is being predicted in Germany already: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/economics/11644660/Germany-dominance-over-as-demographic-crunch-worsens.html). The end of civilisation waits!

 

Whilst I understand why MGTOW emerged, it is just a male version of feminism; another short-sighted, self-centred social movement which when paired with feminism will just cause even greater anarchy. Men and women cannot exist independently of each other; we are inter-dependent as is evidenced by our natural ability to procreate to produce offspring that will sustain us in the future. With that being said I would not encourage men to marry the modern westernised women either. It is almost as though there is no solution, as though the onus really lies on the women to change and return to their traditional roles. Sadly I do not think that this is probable.

 

However, my appeal to you my @Africanindiaspo brothers and sisters is this; do not participate in this madness. Sisters please revert to your traditional roles of home-making and nurturing children; brothers please search for such women and be good men to them. To refuse to do so is to heap the social terrors consequential of feminism onto our future children, consequences of broken families and gender confusion such as the ones shown in this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3Y-99UJ2lM.

 

I am sorry this post is slightly longer than usual but I really hate feminism and all the issues it has caused and what’s sad for me is that people cannot seem to tell where the future is headed either. I encourage you to do more research on this issue my dear friends, open your eyes.

 

Anyway I better do like bananas and split.

 

Until next time, let us share let us grow!

 

‘Decisions concerning social orders must be made with much care and consideration for the selfish decisions of today are threats to the communal welfare of tomorrow’ - @Africanindiaspo