10 things I would tell my son!

1. You are neither, and never will be, a black king or a prince but you are my world
2. Never did I not want to be your dad
3. Your manhood is not determined by the number of women you can get to sleep with you
4. Do not be led by your sexual desires, that is how great men fall
5. Men and women cannot be friends, respect the differences between males and females
6. The best gift you can give your wife is saving yourself for her
7. Treat women the same way you would want your mother, sisters and daughters to be treated
8. Don't be afraid of working hard, as a man you should equip yourself to be a provider and a protector
9. I know what it's like to be a man, I'm always here to help you understand life
10. At the end of life is death, we all go down to the grave therefore do not get puffed up with whatever you achieve.

10 things I would tell my daughter!

1. You are neither, and never will be, a black queen or a princess but you are my world
2. Never did I not want to be your dad
3. Your worth is not tied up in your beauty but in your character - invest in developing what counts
4. Your mother did not carry you for 9 months just so you can turn out to be an object of men's lust
5. Men and women cannot be friends, respect the differences between males and females
6. The best gift you can give your husband is saving yourself for him
7. Do not accept gifts from men you are not related to; men never do something for nothing
8. Develop your mind, work hard but do not let your achievements fill you with self-conceit i.e. don't ever think you don't need a man
9. Always come to me to talk through life, I exist to be here for you
10. You are a black girl and will one day be a black woman, never feel less than anyone. Your skin and hair are beautiful the way they were made.

Why have @Africanindiaspo kids turned away from Christianity? - Part 2

This post has me feeling like Mase - welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. I am sure that if you are reading this you have read part one of the above-mentioned title. In that initial post I described how, in my opinion, hypocrisy in the home is one of the greatest stumbling blocks for @Africanindiaspo youths/children when it comes to embracing religion, more specifically Christianity, as we know it. I used Christianity as the religion of choice as that is the one that I was exposed to as a child growing up in Zimbabwe. Moving on from that; in this post I am going to give arguments for how I believe hypocrisy within churches is another determinant in the creation these 'wayward' children/youths. 

I have heard it often said that children are like sponges as they are always learning and repeating what they see around them; yet I wonder whether African Christian adults take these wise words seriously. I do not think many do as they expose their children to faux leather, faux locks and faux/hypocritical Christianity. I feel that in the same way that people would happily buy fake variations of Nike trainers if there was no known/accepted trademark tick and correct spelling of the brand, many @Africanindiaspo youths/children would happily embrace Christianity if there were no prescribed ways of living/conduct stipulated in the bible. The very same bible that African pastors are opening every Saturday/Sunday in their services (and yet living opposing lives to) is causing @Africanindiaspo children/youth to look at the religion these men and women profess with much contempt. It literally is like carrying out a campaign to raise awareness about what original Nike trainers look like and then selling fakes to these enlightened people. 

My dear brothers and sisters I do not claim to be a biblical scholar (I have not attended healing or miracle school) but I have read the book enough times to notice a few contradictions that have affected many of us who grew up believing in the message of Jesus. 

Sexual immorality
One of the main things that many youth pastors and Sunday school teachers felt was important for me to understand whilst growing up was that sex was reserved only for a husband and his wife. I am convinced that many other 'churched' young @Africanindiaspo youth/children endured the same instruction and were bombarded with bible verses to support these rules. That is not a bad thing to be encouraged to observe as a child until you grow up to realise that the same pastors/elders/deacons touting 'purity' have themselves been engaged in all sorts of sexual immorality. One particular Zimbabwean 'Pentecostal' pastoress named Bonnie Deuschle not only cheated on her husband but even had a love child from her adulterous fling. Although she did come clean to her church she still continued as the pastor of the church which in itself is a violation of two verses which are namely 1 Timothy 2 vs 12 and Titus 1 vs 6-8. These verses say that a pastor/elder should be a MAN and that the man must have no fault/bad reputation. What about Rory Alec who was enjoying the money he was making from his God TV channel before disappearing into the sunset with a Russian lady? And then there is Eddie Long who groomed three young men to be his lovers and all the countless church leaders in various African churches sleeping with other members' wives?  

Only two behaviours can emerge from children exposed to this kind of buffoonery. They will either live double lives themselves and still consider themselves holy or they will completely walk away from the farce in order to uphold some integrity with themselves which is what many seem to be doing.

Greed for money and wild miracles
In addition to the serial adulterers of today; capitalism, globalisation and materialism have paved the way for a new breed of pastors - the likes of which have never been seen before. These pastors have got so great super powers that they must dress in tailor-made suits, live in mansions, drive supercars, move with entourages and be referred to as Papas, Prophets or Apostles.

They are endowed with special access to 'God' and can grant their lucky followers the many desires of their hearts - from weight loss to phone top up to miracle money as well as deliverance from spiritual wives, children, dogs, goats, etc. They perform incredible tricks to enhance their 'credibility' too like Shepherd Bushiri who walks on air and can take spiritual photos on iPads (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nTk5xcN_dyY). However, one must be informed that in order for the god of these men to act one must sow some kind of financial seed by means of tithe, purchasing a DVD, a rubber band charm or anointing oil. As a result these men have profited tremendously off the backs of poor Africans to the point of affording private jets, super cars and mansions. Yes - @Africanindiaspo children/youth attend churches where men like Adeboye, Oyedepo, Creflo Dollar, etc. collect enough tithes and offerings from their parents to be able to fly and/or drive around in style. The very same parents who do not provide anything more that shelter and food for their children are sponsoring these cons. The poor kids see through the pretence and disapprovingly recognise the greed of these prophets as well as the falseness of their miracles when they read in the bible verses like 1 Timothy 6 vs 1-8 and Mark 13 vs 22. And since one cannot touch the anointed, one might as well walk away.

The things I have mentioned to you my dear brother/sister are just a tip of the iceberg (not the lettuce, lol). I remember I once spoke to a young @Africanindiaspo brother who told me that he could no longer attend church after attending a gathering in which people were giving offering by chip and pin. Another lady told me how over a period of time she amassed debt after being guilt-tripped into paying her tithes by credit card as she had no disposable income after paying her bills at the end of the month. And many more acquaintances have told me of how they have had loved ones die after refusing to take medication for chronic diseases which they believed they were healed from by 'men of God'.

Children see this trickery/foolishness and in a world in which they are indoctrinated with evolutionary theories which seem to follow a logical flow of thoughts, a pragmatic world for that matter, they prefer to walk away from hypocrisy and blatant lies. It seems that there is more lust for worldly things in churches than there is outside. Members compete with one another, pledging money and testifying of or showing off their God-given wealth. They ignore verses that encourage contentment and modesty as well as the fact that most of their leaders are often divorced and in second, third and fourth adulterous marriages i.e. Chris Oyakhilome, Duncan Williams, etc.

The worst part is that in these churches are seemingly genuine people but they do not have a voice and when they are in financial/emotional need, they are always offered prayer and never assisted. Perhaps God should miraculously put food in their mouths and clothing on their backs I suppose? That is whilst the pastors pass the chip and pin around.
Until next time, let us share and grow.

'How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.' - Luke 6 vs 42.

 

A single mother cannot raise a boy to be a man!

I know some people are not going to like this post but I am compelled to write it nonetheless. As always my intent is not to create a divide between men and women but to offer a constructive perspective that can take us forward as @Africanindiaspos.


Some time ago I made the statement that ‘a single mother cannot raise a boy to be a man’ to a group of @Africanindiaspo brothers and sisters and typically as well as understandably got some serious backlash for it. One of the people who sharply disagreed with me was a lady who was and still is a great (single) mother of four children. 'My children are turning out alright', she said, 'I don't need to be with their father for me to raise my sons', she added. Another brother who had an absent father, like many typical African children, also chimed in and added that although he had been pretty much raised by his mother he had turned out okay, thus implying that my statement/conviction was as redundant as UK call centre employees.


I was not (in any way, shape or form) trying to insinuate that single/widowed mothers are intellectually incompetent individuals when it comes to the task of raising male children. Neither was I trying to implicate that the only suitable conditions in which a young boy can become a man are when his parents are happily married or living together. Although that would be ideal for producing stable citizens of tomorrow, it is an unrealistic feat in today's society in which children proudly born out of wedlock and one in which women hold divorce parties. What I was trying to communicate instead was that in the event that a mother has sole custody of her male child following the death of her husband/partner, divorce or a night of passion with a stranger, etc. she needs to ensure her son has a manly male role model who will be an authority over him, disciplining and teaching him how to be a man. Failure to do so will lead to the upbringing of an effeminate, intemperate and indecisive mummy’s boy. Whilst the father of that child is always the best person to be tasked with this responsibility, in my opinion, if he has passed or is disinterested in being involved with his son then a trustworthy/dependable and willing uncle/grandfather is always a good substitute.


Why do I feel this way? Well I could attribute that to my upbringing and the traits I have witnessed amongst the many families and friends I have been acquainted with in my short time on earth. Growing up my father only beat me once whilst my mother, on the other hand, seemed to have a keen interest to make up for him not doing so. However, as much as she did not spare the rod, my father is the one I feared (even as a child) and whenever my mother wanted me to behave all that she had to say was 'I am going to tell Dhedhi (daddy)'. Just the mention of my father would bring any nuisance behaviour to an abrupt end as I understood that this man who loved me as his own could easily kill me. It must have been the depth of his voice or his soberness that made me fear him the most, I don’t know but as they say ‘still waters run deep’. Anyway as I grew older the belt and shamhu (twig) as well as many other weapons of choice employed by mother to correct me stopped to hurt me to the point that I began to even laugh whenever my mother disciplined me. All the while whilst the fear of my father remained. This is not something I was taught to be and yet many of my male friends developed in the very same way.


Whilst this fear/respect of authority as a child seems harsh/abusive to the hippie children of today I believe it was beneficial in my life at ensuring that I lived according to the rules of our home. This in turn has made me a good citizen of society as it is has been easy for me to submit, for a lack of a better word, to the authority of my teachers, the police and government. This is a characteristic that is not prevalent in the countless young people of today and with greater consequences among the countless young black American men who have died at the hands of the police. Many of these young men were not sober-minded but emotionally-charged like women. Thing is; in the real world men receive greater punishment than women for the same crimes so for a man to behave like his mother is to be left immensely exposed. Although many of the @Africanindiaspo male children/youth, raised or being raised by single mothers, that I have encountered have not been murdered by the police they too have been very emotionally imbalanced as well as unambitious. It becomes more apparent as to why this is so when you spend time in some of these single mother households and realise how their mothers have speak down to them - something that has happened to them all their lives. Mothers would do such a thing (in order to maintain control over a child who would otherwise end up behaving wildly) without realising how this type of speech could damage that child as a boy/man which is why women need to control how they speak to their spouses/partners. Although my mother tried to do this with me as a child from time to time my father was always there to stop and correct her as well as keep her from dressing me up like a pimp doll. Do you not see this happening? The lack of masculinity in the home has bred the metrosexual/fashionista male. That is not to say that I only needed my father once I got past a certain age - because the presence of my mother in my life taught me many virtues to seek in a future partner. She was also very useful at pleading with my dad to be a bit more merciful when he was too firm. I have found and continue to find that balance to be extremely helpful at producing a man out of a male child.


As I mentioned earlier many young men raised by single mothers are typically unambitious and one benefit I have enjoyed from having my father in my life is accountability – something that the best of mothers usually cannot hold their sons to. Throughout my life (that is from when I was in primary school until I finished university) my father always sat down with me scrutinising every report I brought home, comparing it to the previous one. Although I know that some children, such as Ben Carson, may thrive or have thrived academically without their fathers' input I would venture to say that they are exceptions and not rules. I am not, by any scratch of my imagination, the brightest bulb in the box but I have shined well because my father said I could and also because he expected me to do so.  


Also there are many age-appropriate things that fathers push their sons to do which mothers struggle with such as when to fly the nest, become financially independent, etc. And whilst it may be okay to infantilise young women, such behaviour has greater consequences for a young man in the feminised 21^st century.  I have learned that men thrive when they are obligated to survive and most fathers understand this which is why they challenge their sons to set out just like lions do. We all know that lions live in prides which consist of a few lionesses, a dominant lion and some younger male lions which are typically the offspring of the dominant lion. I say typically offspring because when a lion takes over a pride, it displaces or kills the dominant male and also kills any cubs in order to bring the lionesses into heat. Once the lion has taken over the pride it has to defend the pride from other roaming males and produce its own cubs which when they are taught how to hunt and fight before they are evicted from the pride for them to go and take create or takeover their own.

 

 

‘It may take a village to raise a child but only a man can raise a man out of a young boy’ - @Africanindiaspo

Why do black/African men and women embrace music that destroys them?

This post has been on my mind for a while and I am glad it has finally come to fruition. I was not planning on writing it this soon into my blogging but I was on Twitter the other day when an @Africanindiaspo sister I follow wrote something on her feed that triggered a response from me. Her tweet was about how she cannot help but enjoy and dance to music she finds derogatory towards women due to the overwhelming talent of the artists. I was amused by this sentiment which is shared by many @Africanindiaspo sisters but never owned up to by @Africanindiaspo brothers who are also often insulted by many songs they consume.

 

As I said this is something I had been thinking about prior to this incident. I had been reflecting on the lyrics of Western/Caribbean/African black people's songs, lyrics such as:

 

1.      'Catch you slipping I'mma kill you, I aint playing hear what I'm saying homie I aint playing' - Heat - 50 Cent'

2.      'I just got rich took a broke n****'s chic' - Loyal - Chris Brown

3.      'That's why I f****d your b**** - Hit 'em up - Tupac

4.      'I stay flossing in that candy paint, Blowin dank, Sippin drank on 84 swangers, Tearin up the lane' - Flossing - Mike Jones

5.      'Wanna put my fingers through your hair, Wrap me up in your legs, And love you till your eyes roll back, I'm tryna put you to bed, bed, bed' - Bed - J Holiday

6.      'All I want is your waist' - Ur Waist - Iyanya.

7.      'So f***in inna wata f***in inna sea f***in inna bushes and f***in inna tree' - Dutty wine - Tony Matterhorn

 

This list could be much, much longer but I am sure you catch my drift?

 

Although, I have always known that black music/culture to be predominantly geared towards either promoting violence, taking each other's women, showing off to each other, the objectification of black women or the mass sexualisation of young black minds I had never thought of one thing. I had never thought of why black people embrace this imagery so much whilst white people do not - at least not to the same extent. After all this very music is available to whites as it is to blacks. In fact in the past I had even passionately debated with friends and colleagues about how the powers that control mainstream media are responsible for projecting certain behaviours onto blacks by constantly bombarding them with debased music and films as an acceptable way of life but here I was now asking myself whether it was fair to absolve black/African people of their part in this mess. To do so would be to suggest that black people are incompetent/mindless individuals who can be involuntarily programmed to behave in certain ways would it not?  

 

I know some may argue that it is typically the instrumentals and catchy choruses that lead to garbage music being widely accepted by our brothers and sisters and to a certain extent I think it is a fair thing to say but even then why does ‘white music’ not promote the same level of animosity towards your like-skinned brother/sister as black music does? It also has catchy choruses and well-produced instrumentals but how often do you hear a white RnB gangsta artist sing about how he wants to take the significant other/b**** of another white man who is not in a great financial position today but is probably one of the many that supported him to be who he is today? How does that even compute? I helped you Chris Brown to become a celebrity by buying your CDs/MP3s when you were a little boy with dreams of looking after your single mother and now all of a sudden you are calling me broke and taking my woman? My @Africanindiaspos is it still the white man's fault when I continue to buy tickets to go to Chris' show to listen to him remind me of how horrible my life is and risk having him take my new girlfriend backstage? I really have to be under a spell to do that don't I? At this juncture it would be expected of everybody to hate Chris (lol) or at least boycott him and yet the opposite happens as artists like him gain even greater followings amongst black. Also, as a side note, how does a man who hits such high notes as he does still maintain a respectable thug image? Imagine Justin Timberlake being embroiled in a thug lifestyle after singing cry me a river. I do not think his fan base would remain intact and yet we as black folks (although we may be stirred) do not seem shaken by the behaviours of people like Chris Brown and Usher.

 

Heck when we are not at threat of losing our better halves to Chris Brown and his other coloured friends (let it sink in) we are being threatened by the likes of 50 Cent and his G-Unit crew or whatever it may be these days. Picture a stadium packed with white people listening to an esteemed white gangsta person and his friends (who have genuine criminal records) singing to the crowd about how they will kill them and the crowd dancing away. This is what our brothers and sisters do, we buy into this culture of provocation and terror. Therefore it comes as no surprise that at times there are fights and/or shootings at these live shows as black men kill black men. Notorious B.I.G and Tupac died over a long-standing feud, T.I and Floyd Mayweather fought over insults, The Game beat up a man called Glocc 40 and was a victim of physical abuse himself at the hands of another thug who ended up being murdered. But hey it is not our fault though, it's them damn white folk and these good beats that have put weapons in our hands and sown dissension amongst us from the days of slavery. We have no choice in this. Yes we do not, because if the KKK released a mixed tape about lynching blacks and how they love slavery we would dance to it if the chorus was catchy and the instrumentation was ‘popping’. If not then that suggests to me that we (independently-minded and intelligent blacks) love the behaviours/lifestyles promoted by the songs sung/rapped by brothers and sisters, not just the beats. Now that is food for thought. To add, when have you ever seen white celebrities shooting at each other or fighting in public as I just previously mentioned?

 

I wish this culture was restricted to black Americans (who I no longer admire like I did as an impressionable teen in Africa) but it is also promoted here in the UK in places like Manchester, London, Birmingham, etc. by some pathetic Grime musicians and unfortunately this cancer has spread and affected African music/youth culture too. I have experienced, first-hand, young black men fighting over territories and school crests in order to live up to the fallacious, egotistical personas propagated by hip hop music which they know to be deviant based on their cultural values and religious upbringings. It seems then that the conscious attraction to this demeaning music subconsciously yields behaviours consistent with the messages it promotes. And unfortunately we cannot ignore how over-sexualised we as blacks are made to be from the sleazy R&B music that also forms part of our culture. Which other race of people has a genre of music they call baby-making music. Which other group of people has all of its teens rubbing themselves on each other in the name of dancing (Jamaicans are the worst at doing this)? This combined with the lack of sexual health education makes for a ticking time bomb with soaring rates of HIV affecting blacks more than whites. HIV may have been developed in a lab as some conspiracists believe, but we willingly spread it amongst ourselves with such music that measures a black man’s manhood not by his ability to provide for his family or to be the head of his home/clan but by how many women he can say he has slept with.

 

My dear @Africanindiaspo brothers and sisters let us boycott such destructive culture if we desire to be different. One thing that helped me was to realise, as an adolescent, that most of the rap music I was being influenced by was being written/produced by unintelligent thugs who have absolutely no care for the effects their music has on their own kind. Since then I have discovered more sophisticated genres of music such as jazz, neo-soul and I have even reverted to my traditional music heroes such as Oliver Mtukudzi, Leonard Dembo, etc. This music inspires me to be and to do better in life. It does not seek to rot my moral fibre and neither does it drive me to kill my brother nor push me to prove my manliness through infidelity.

 

‘The ‘demise’ of the black race cannot be entirely blamed on white supremacy but rather due to the lack of self-responsibility’ - @Africanindiaspo

Why have @Africaindiaspo kids turned away from Christianity? - Part 1

Growing up in the motherland I observed how religion underpinned much of life, from praying before meals, praying before/after travelling to praying and singing at weddings, funerals and of course religious gatherings. Christianity was and still is the widely-held belief in Zimbabwe and the religion I have been exposed to, thus it makes sense for it to be the only one I comment on.

 

As a youngster church attendance was not optional, no. In fact even as a young adult staying at home (here in the diaspora) with my parents it remained a compulsory family ritual to the extent that I felt really bad if I ever missed a Sunday service. One could say I was deeply religious at the time and when people at school asked me what my beliefs were I would often respond, ‘Pentecostal Christian’ without any hesitation at all although my ‘lifestyle’ reflected no semblance of my professed faith. It was only when I got a little older and started to develop my own understanding of life, holding what the bible says against church practices, that I realised not only how hypocritical I was but also how overwhelmingly hypocritical the majority of @Africanindiaspo Christians and churches were. I realised then why Christianity did not appeal to me and many of the @Africanindiaspos who were my age at the time.

 

You see children in Africa, just like African adults interact with national politicians; do not ask any questions that challenge the status quo as such insubordination can lead to serious disciplinary action. Consequentially, African children (and in some instances adults) typically do not appear to have minds of their own, that is how a grown man’s parents can influence him to leave his spouse for another more suitable/subservient woman – a woman they prefer really. Am I lying? Au contraire (on the contrary), western and @Africanindiaspo children raised in the diaspora are taught to question everything that they are taught by their parents, although they never seem to question the evolutionary theories and propagandised fallacies drummed into their heads from a young age. I personally feel a balance is critical but where is Kermit when you need him?

 

Nonetheless this critical mind-set of @Africanindiaspo children is something that many parents have not made adjustments to accommodate. Whilst many of us who grew up as Christians in the Motherland found it easy to believe that Jesus was born of a virgin mother, was the Son of God and that He resurrected from the dead, these are facts that your typical @Africanindiaspo descendant just cannot understand (How I could just kill a man, lol). The lack of empirical evidence combined with the fact that it just doesn’t sound plausible makes the bible/anything written in it sound like folklore. I suppose faith is difficult to possess when you have never needed to trust God for your next meal or the healing of a loved one, only the national health system and evolutionary theories (not facts) from a man just like you and I.

 

Whilst the factors mentioned above are worthy of consideration, I believe hypocrisy is really the stroke that breaks the camel’s backs for most children and for the purpose of this post I will stick to hypocrisy in the home. I have found Christianity amongst @Africanindiaspos and even amongst our brothers and sisters in the Motherland to be centred primarily on church and/or bible study attendance and long prayers which are preferably made in incomprehensible tongues. Insofar as these conditions are met one is considered a bona fide believer worthy of much commendation in the church. Oh silly me I forgot to mention that they must give their tithe faithfully, of course, lest they attract a curse from God then they are a bona fide, hell-raising Christian. Of course it does not matter how this believer conducts him/herself in their home and this is when the stumbling block for children is mounted in my opinion.

 

Many faithless @Africanindiaspos youths struggle to reconcile bible verses of how men should love their wives and be patient with them when their church-esteemed fathers are drunkards, overbearing, money-hungry, short-tempered and even at times physically abusive to their mothers. Even worse some struggle to understand how their fathers can be observed as elders/deacons in the church when they are players, yes some of these men even engage in adulterous affairs, despite public knowledge of their deeds. In other instances some youths also fail to reconcile their mothers’ inabilities to submit to their fathers or their strong-willed behaviour against them with the verses in the bible about how women should respect and submit to their husbands and should love and raise their children. This is especially true as many of these children often feel neglected by the very same church uniform-wearing mothers who possess very little dignity and are serious gossips and slanderers, etc.

 

My dear reader, if you have been around @Africanindiaspo families, have you seen parents treating their children with the love, gentleness and kindness (that the bible they believe teaches)? In my experience, I have not seen this; instead I have seen parents relentlessly shaming their children and stripping them of all dignity - even in front of people. This does not win souls, it destroys and hardens hearts. According to the bible that I grew up being taught to believe the family (children) is the second, most important institution for mankind after marriage. Therefore, before @Africanindiaspos who believe in Jesus tout their religion to their ‘lost’ Western friends, how about they take the bible seriously and authenticate its message by actually living out what they believe and raise children who are convinced of their fruit. How about they teach their children the word and pray with them every day rather than leaving that responsibility to the Sunday school teachers. I think that only after doing that can any good news they have make sense to anyone else.

 

Hopefully in Part 2 of this post I will focus on the hypocrisy of the church, which according to the bible is the 3^rd most important institution for mankind, and how the hypocrisy that exists in it contributes to these ‘wayward’ children that many @Africanindiaspo parents are ashamed of.

 

Until then, let us share let us grow!

 

‘Children are the mirrors of the homes, communities and societies they are nurtured or abandoned in’ - @Africanindiaspo

I have decided to not be chivalrous towards strange women and self-professed feminists!

As a young man growing up in this gynocentric world (in the motherland as well as here in the diaspora) I was taught to do such things as to open doors for women and allow them ahead of myself when entering a room. I was instructed that a man ought to rescue damsels in distress which translates to helping them with tasks they cannot do themselves i.e. lifting heavy objects, changing tyres or coming to their defence when they are under any physical threat. Heck, when I was primary school in the Motherland we were taught that a man/boy should under no circumstances lay his hand on a female and I subscribed to this ideology. Ironically, the girls in my school were not taught to be feminine and that resulted in many boys my age being defencelessly attacked by girls. Although this was obviously abuse, our mind-sets were programmed to neither retaliate nor report these animalistic females. However, if I could now turn back the hands of time (like R. Kelly) I would stomp the brains out of many of those girls. I know it sounds outlandish but as the title says I have decided that chivalry is a stupid ideology in a feminised/gynocentric world such as the one we live in whereby women are no longer women but self-conceited, self-entitled equals.



I never thought I would feel this way about women at large but the trip down memory lane, fervent research on the subject of feminism and my recent conversations with groups of ignorant women have really created bad blood between myself and 'independent'/feminised women. Speaking to one @Africanindiaspo sister I recently got introduced to in particular pushed me overboard, let's call her Emily for the purpose of this post. My first impression of Emily when I first met her through a mutual friend was that she was intelligent as I had been pre-informed of her academic accolades but that changed when she opened her mouth.



The first discussion Emily and I had in a group situation was about the importance of women staying at home in order to nurture and instil values in their children at the sacrifice of high-flying careers. That struck a nerve with her even though some of the other @Africanindiaspo sisters understood where the men were coming from in regards to this discussion. It was in fact a couple of @Africanindiaspo sisters who had started the debate as they were proponents of the ideology. Whilst this sharp disagreement on Emily's part was an indicator of the feministic viewpoint she holds to heart I thought it was fair that she and many other women prefer to be high-flyers with wild children - each to their own as the old saying goes.



However, knowing my stance on child rearing and feminism, Emily decided to give herself a second opportunity to disgust me when we met for the second time in another group environment. This time she had back up. The discussion on this encounter took the form of the first one, at least before I presented perspectives on how decent men are increasingly becoming repulsed by the whoring behaviour of the modern women. This is because many of them sleep around with many men (many many many many men) in their youth/prime when pursuing careers and then want to present their leftovers (in their 30s/40s) to 'good/decent men' in order to gain security and have children before railroading these same good men with divorces and child support/maintenance. I mentioned how by this time the tables would have turned as the men would be in their prime whilst such women would be like used up cars with high mileage but still trying to fetch a good price. That's not a good deal right?



Well Emily did not have the intelligence to register this truth, her rebuttal was only about how women do not care much about relationships and children. That is that 'I am independent' spiel propagated by Beyoncé the married mother of one. Hmmm that explains the many IVF clinics that cater to older/mature women who have been single most of their lives, can no longer have children but are desperate for them nonetheless. Films such as Sex and the city in which women are depicted as independent and sexy in their 50s and 60s, not lonely, undesired and isolated like the local government and even common sense purports do not help either. It seems many sisters typically cannot separate reality from fiction which is why they even have unrealistic expectations of a 'perfect' man, one with money and is 6ft tall with an athletic build – no care for character. I digress.



I thought I would go one step further and emphasise to my crowd of feminists just how indispensable men really are by mentioning how men are responsible for the design and development of the majority of the infrastructure and innovation we enjoy. I added that the protection of any society is underpinned by its men being frontline soldiers with sufficient prowess. Of course Emily had to say that women could just as easily be frontline soldiers without compromising the security of a battalion as they are, in her opinion, just as athletic as men. Using that logic Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, the fastest woman in the world, is just as fast as Usain Bolt right? How one could so delusional escapes me but then again these sisters were not using logic but were allowing emotionalism and self-entitlement to lead their thought process just like the myopic ideology of feminism they subscribe to.



I mean this in the gentlest and most loving way possible my dear @Africanindiaspo brothers and sisters but women innately cannot apply logic. It is not in their nature to do so and that is perfectly fine because men make up for that. There are many weaknesses that men also possess that women make up for such as the ability to nurture children and to micro-manage activities, the problem is that men acknowledge this complementarity whilst women dismiss it altogether. With all the book-intelligence of the sisters I was sitting with they still did not want to accept facts/common knowledge. Personally as much as I love my partner I am convinced that were she to be given the power and responsibility of leading our home she would crack (like cocaine) which explains why many positions of leadership in business are given to men. Think about it, men are not affected by anything at any moment of the month whilst nature itself determines a woman's feelings/mood cyclically. Can you imagine trying to rationally make strategic, life-dependent decisions and then communicating them effectively to your subordinates whilst experiencing severe cramps? I am sure that any reasonable person would agree that intelligence will not help in this predicament, not Emily though. For her these physiological and emotional challenges that women face do not detract from their abilities to compete with men. I think many women secretly wish they were men these days. That is how bad ‘equality’ has gotten, there are even contraptions on sale that allow women to use the bathroom whilst standing just like men. Anyway this is when I realised how ridiculous independent/feministic women really are. Now that they enjoy the privileges afforded them by the blood, sweat and tears of self-sacrificing men they feel as though they can build their own railway lines and create strong armies with their never-compromised strategic and decision-making faculties.



I resigned from then on to take this equality malarkey for what it is when interacting with women because as much as I was shocked by how prevalent it is I was also disappointed with myself. A few years ago I had seen a gentleman slap his other half after they had been arguing in a car when she called him a son of a b****. My instinct at the time was to rush to save this damsel. I was only restrained from doing so by the consideration that this guy could have a weapon and lash out on me. Well, if I saw a woman antagonising a man like that again and getting slapped for it I would do like Craig David and walk away (I wouldn’t care if it was a Monday). Worse still if, going forward, I ever see a woman initiate a physical altercation with a man I will just grab some popcorn - equal rights does equate to equal lefts after all. They are called consequences for actions ladies and gentlemen. This is a truth I will engrain in my daughters as I will never rescue them from consequences of belligerent behaviour. I will also teach my sons to not only not beat girls but to not beat boys also. Instead I will teach them to defend them ferociously from anyone who physically harms them irrespective of their gender - that my friends is true equality.



I am sorry that this post is much longer than usual but I really wanted you my brother/sister to understand the reasons for my new stance. I will only be chivalrous towards my partner, mother, daughters, relatives and little precious girls who do not know any better than to demean manhood and claim to be independent. Anyone else does not get any help from me. Chivalry has dead in my heart, I have left The Temptations.

 

'Women you cannot have your cake and eat it, decisions to be independent have ramifications attached to them' -@Africanindiaspo